The edge was here today

Today has been an emotionally trying day. I haven't felt much like eating, but I did get my exercise in today. I am trying to remember what I posted yesterday on my blog... maybe that's why the Lord sent that thought yesterday, to prepare me for today? 

My son has mental and emotional disabilities. He's 12, very intelligent but his behavior problems get in the way of homeschool work. It took him 278 days to complete 4th grade. He got all A's and B's! He has Tourette's, Aspergers/Autism, OCD, ODD and ADHD. 

So I live with drama, basically. I'm a laid back person, it takes a lot to get me mad and even when I'm angry it takes a lot to push me over the edge. Today was the edge. I haven't gone over it...yet. Stress leaked out, several times today, those salty wet things that slide down your cheeks, you know that kind of stress I'm sure. 

I've been through some pretty tough trials in my lifetime and after the last extreme stress (2005-06) I learned the Lord DOES rescue me from evil. But it sure would be nice if it were on my timeline instead of his, you know? (grin) 

So here's to remembering "God is for me, so who can be against me?" "Press on and have hope, because God IS faithful" "His mercies are new every morning, GREAT is His faithfulness". 

Whether your problem is discouragement, illness or aging, sometimes all you have left is Jesus. 
When you're angry and bitter, you can still cling to Jesus in the midst of your tears. You can grab onto him and refuse to let go until he brings you through it. You'll find, to your surprise, that he holds on to you even tighter than you hold on to him. 

Jesus understands sorrow. He knows about being hurt. He remembers the terrible moment on the cross when his Father was forced to abandon him, because he was filthy from taking on our sins. Jesus won't let me go. 

Thank you Father.